It's probably obvious, but blogging is not my favorite thing. I think it was a good tool to keep everyone updated while I was in India, but I can't really promise my life in America is going to be as interesting. I did want to write one little update about how my re-entry has been, mostly because I feel like God has been so gracious through all of it.
I can't believe it's been just over 4 months since I left India [and about 2 months since being back in the States]. I was reading my notebook where I write down prayers/scripture last night and came across an entry when I still had a few months left in India. I wrote Proverbs 3:5-6 --"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." .. Next to it I wrote, "This is a good strategy for re-entry." And, I've gotta say that's what He's done during this time. He has deepened my trust in Him and made my paths straight.
I could probably talk for a while about how God has worked during these past few months of me being back. But, I think most of all He has assured me of His love for me. I'm not sure why, but when I'm really honest with myself, it's one of the things I doubt the most. Sure, on this epic, massive scale, I get the fact that God sent His son, Jesus, to die for me and pay the price for my sins and that is done out of God's love for me. But, I begin to doubt and question on the smaller, more intimate scale. Does God care that I need a car or a job or even just friends when I get back? What role does He play in the daily details of my life?
I was listening to a Tim Keller sermon the other day called "Your Plans: God's Plans" and he was talking about how we come to know that God loves us. He was saying that no one ever believes God loves them just because they are told, which I would agree. He said God has to show you His love for you. This means that over and over we have to be brought to a place where we think God has abandoned us and then He proves us wrong. He comes through. He shows up. And then, over time, we become more and more assured of His love for us. I would say He has done that with me in the past 2 months.
It's not that I was to the point that I thought God had abandoned me, but I was just really questioning and wondering how He would work... if at all, through my re-entry. Was I going to be left to myself to navigate re-ordering my life in America? Thankfully, the answer is a resounding "no". I could write for pages if I went into the details, but overall, I'm learning that yes, He is definitely in the details.
Another huge thing I am feeling, which I think is just a latent effect from living in India, is just how grateful I am. There were parts of life over the past two years that were incredibly difficult. It was definitely a 'pruning' season in my life, and those usually aren't fun. It was painful and I feel like He allowed me to see parts of myself that are not pretty. But from that, I have developed a greater realization of God's grace for me. I have no business keeping company with the God of the universe. The fact that He has pursued me, grabbed a hold of me and isn't letting go, is beyond me. I just keep on having the thought... "Apart from the grace of God, where would I be??" I'm seeing how my life is such a testament to God's massive amounts of mercy and grace.
Also, I just feel like life in America is just super cush.. (is that a word?) What is there to complain about?!? There is Mexican food, coffee creamer, salads, air conditioning and TARGET! And, I'm in the same country as my family!
One of my favorite things about being back:
Sitting around in the mornings with my niece, Kate. Love her!
I can't believe it's been just over 4 months since I left India [and about 2 months since being back in the States]. I was reading my notebook where I write down prayers/scripture last night and came across an entry when I still had a few months left in India. I wrote Proverbs 3:5-6 --"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." .. Next to it I wrote, "This is a good strategy for re-entry." And, I've gotta say that's what He's done during this time. He has deepened my trust in Him and made my paths straight.
I could probably talk for a while about how God has worked during these past few months of me being back. But, I think most of all He has assured me of His love for me. I'm not sure why, but when I'm really honest with myself, it's one of the things I doubt the most. Sure, on this epic, massive scale, I get the fact that God sent His son, Jesus, to die for me and pay the price for my sins and that is done out of God's love for me. But, I begin to doubt and question on the smaller, more intimate scale. Does God care that I need a car or a job or even just friends when I get back? What role does He play in the daily details of my life?
I was listening to a Tim Keller sermon the other day called "Your Plans: God's Plans" and he was talking about how we come to know that God loves us. He was saying that no one ever believes God loves them just because they are told, which I would agree. He said God has to show you His love for you. This means that over and over we have to be brought to a place where we think God has abandoned us and then He proves us wrong. He comes through. He shows up. And then, over time, we become more and more assured of His love for us. I would say He has done that with me in the past 2 months.
It's not that I was to the point that I thought God had abandoned me, but I was just really questioning and wondering how He would work... if at all, through my re-entry. Was I going to be left to myself to navigate re-ordering my life in America? Thankfully, the answer is a resounding "no". I could write for pages if I went into the details, but overall, I'm learning that yes, He is definitely in the details.
Another huge thing I am feeling, which I think is just a latent effect from living in India, is just how grateful I am. There were parts of life over the past two years that were incredibly difficult. It was definitely a 'pruning' season in my life, and those usually aren't fun. It was painful and I feel like He allowed me to see parts of myself that are not pretty. But from that, I have developed a greater realization of God's grace for me. I have no business keeping company with the God of the universe. The fact that He has pursued me, grabbed a hold of me and isn't letting go, is beyond me. I just keep on having the thought... "Apart from the grace of God, where would I be??" I'm seeing how my life is such a testament to God's massive amounts of mercy and grace.
Also, I just feel like life in America is just super cush.. (is that a word?) What is there to complain about?!? There is Mexican food, coffee creamer, salads, air conditioning and TARGET! And, I'm in the same country as my family!
One of my favorite things about being back:
